Blog of Rage

Fucks who write letters to newspapers

2006-04-10T20:51:00.000+10:00

Occasionally, you'll get an interesting opinion piece in the opinion pages of a paper. Most of the shit they print there is utter fucking shite. The worst offenders are those fucking tabloids. In a broadsheet you may get someone attempting to start a debate on, say, mental health funding. In those arsewipe tabloids you'll get barely literate asshats writing in about "the youth of today" or "why can't the trains run on time and also stop right outside my house but not make any noise" or even shit like "why don't people give up their seat for me?" rubbish.

Listen up you fuckwits: no one gives a shit about your pathetic opinions. Your opinions are fucking crap. Just because you can stop drolling long enough to put the spastic thoughts of yours to a piece of paper with your turd-proof big crayons is no fucking reason to do so. Rather, bang your head into a fucking wall: it will do more good.

Anyone who wants to complain I am being some intellectual elitist can get fucked.

Petty fights in comment sections on blogs

2006-04-05T20:20:00.000+10:00

vs

and others..

Because of the photos the formatting may be a bit fucked. If it troubles you in any waythen fuck off.

Having spats in the comments of blogs over tiny shit: not enough of it. You all fucking hate each other, admit it. Now get to work pumping out the fucking hatred.

(Harrow, if it helps, hatred is fucking beautiful).

Tofu

2006-03-30T10:29:00.000+11:00

Fucking tofu is one of the, if not the, fucking worst food on earth. It's fucking horrible stuff and anyone who thinks I am going to eat it can get fucked. I fully support this call to recognise tofu as the fucking spawn of the devil. Fucking slimy shit it is.

Big Posts

2006-03-30T10:21:00.000+11:00

Even given that I wrote the fuck...too fucking much to read. Fucking verbosity is shit.

Over Officious fucks

2006-03-30T09:49:00.000+11:00

Well, fuck me if its been a while since I posted. Life and all that, you know. Sucks up my fucking time. If anyone has an issue with it, please kindly forward your complain to fuck@off.

Anyway, it is no surprise to many of my readers (the fucking few that are left...) that I live in Melbourne. Melbourne is one of the greatest cities in the world, easily the best metropolis in Australia. Sydney can get fucked. All it has is a few iconic structures in the middle of a fucking swamp of fucked up tools. Don't believe me? Try visiting sometime.

Recently, Melbourne has hosted the Commonwealth Games. Now, they were a lot of fucking fun, and all, but they called for the recruitment of thousands of voluntees. The so called fucking Smurfs, cos of their blue uniform and shit like that. And they were all fucking midgets.

Some of these smurfs got a little fucking power crazy. Due to some events, the roads were sealed in my part of town. Fair enough. So they set up these fucking crossing points for you to corss the fucking road. They were divided into two halves - for each crossing direction, but the fuckers were quiet when I was using them. Still, simply because this is what some of the fucks were told to do, I had to enter and exit via the left side. Understandable when the traffic is heavy, pointless when it isn't.

So, quiet road, just me crossing. What do some of these over important shitheads do? Direct me to go to the fucking left side, even when the right side is easier for everone. One fat blue fuck even stood in front of me and forced me to go over to the otherside, probable cos it made him feel like a big man - instead of the fat fuck he was.

All that was needed was a little common sense. Not some melgomanic, jumped up, little fuckwits.

South African Cricket

2006-03-19T00:37:00.000+11:00

You win the "greatest" ODI ever and then you let fucking Stuart Clark take 9 wickets in the match? You can make fucking 438 runs in 50 overs but then collapse for 205 and 197 in the next test? What the fuck is that? The whole fucking side, and country, is for the tip.

People who think the inclusion of Stuart MacGill would change things

2006-03-17T09:24:00.000+11:00

"We'd have won [insert match/series here] if MacGill was playing!" Fucking bollocks. Utter fucking shite. Could he create peace in the Middle East or cure cancer? Fuck no. But aparently he would have made it all different, he fucking would have.

Fuck off with that shite.

Arty opening ceremonies

2006-03-17T09:05:00.000+11:00

What the fuck is with overly arty opening ceremonies? Why the fuck do we need some fucking sotry, told through art? What ever happened to letting the athletes come out, doing the ceremonial shit and getting the fuck on with business? People shouldn't need to grap "the meaning" of some passage of a ceremony - it's not a fucking opera. Memo to all "artistic directors": if the fucking public doesn't understand what the fuck you're on about then it isn't them. It's fucking you.

The fireworks were fucking cool, though.

Mick Lewis

2006-03-14T09:17:00.000+11:00

Fucking disgraceful. You claimed a record that Muralithuran should have gone to his grave with. I don't give a shit of the fucking pitch was as lifeless as Price Phillip. 113 runs off 10 overs if fucking inexcusable.

Your fucking ODI career is for the tip.

Seat warming whingers

2006-03-06T15:08:00.000+11:00

I've been reluctant to post anyting since my post on that fucking frog - I think that that was my best work ever, for fucking everything. Something finally shitted me off enough to post again...

What type of old geazer whinges because he has to move desk? One of the sad fucks in my office. That's who. I won't go into the full story now: I'll save it for another time. The fucking upshot is this. Some whinging bastard starts whinging right in front of me because I "stole" his desk at work. Accused me of fucking lying to get it. What a fucking tool.

Seriously, the fucker is into his 50s, I'm guessing. And the thing he's worried about most is where he is sitting for the few hours of the fucking day he actually comes into the office. Not even his fucked up prostate and the fact he can't get it up any more rate higher on his irks scale it seems. Fucking old geazer, when will the world see the virtues of my call to euthanise spastics like that?

Fucking Crazy Frog

2006-02-24T21:04:00.000+11:00

To the person(s) who thought of this shit, fuck you.
To the person(s) who made the animation, fuck you.
To the person(s) who thought of making you into a ringtone, fuck you in a big fucking way.
To all the worldwide Jamster Mobile clubs, fuck you.
To Axel F, fuck you (whoever the fuck you are).
To all the fucks who got the ringtone or play any of the associated useless shit, fuck you.

I hope you all fucking die.

Norfolk Island

2006-02-21T20:04:00.000+11:00

So they want independence? Fucking let them, I say. Fuck 'em, fuck 'em all, the inbred fucks. I say let then secede. Who in Australia will give a fuck? I'm sick of their fucking whinging. And without those asshats, the average IQ of the nation can only be well into three figures (that's how fucking dopey they are). And without Commonwealth welfare their economy is fucked in the arse - like in so many hushed up rapes. I support their fucking shitty lifestyle (and their mega-shitty phonebooks).

So hurry up and fuck off, Norfolk. Go back to your fucking Bounty, or whatever shithole you climbed off.

Trendy-pretentious fuck

2006-02-20T20:36:00.000+11:00

He gets on the train, fucking sits next to me. He is dressed all in black, faux cargo pants. Ear pierced many many times. He looks unkempt, scruffy, with some slight stubble. He smells of mull.

Then, the fucking final straw. I saw him reading the book Exetensialism from Dostoevsky to Satre. Seriously. I should fucking roll you, you prententious fucking Jean-Paul. Kant would call it my fucking catergorical imperative.

Fucking talk?

2006-02-19T20:39:00.000+11:00

"Coming over?" I ask.

"Yeah, sure"

Great. So you come over. Late. Way fucking late. So we chat. And fucking chat. And fucking chat.

Inane shit too. That's not what you're here for - soaking up my time with inane shit. Substantial shit always wlecome, but inane shit? Fuck off with that. I think the pretence I came up with for you to fuck off was welcome by us both. Fuck.

The "Big Fella's" service

2006-02-17T10:11:00.000+11:00

Nothing to do with the man himself, but this fucking tribute shit is getting out of hand. I haven't been able to watch Channel 9, the TV station he owned, without watching every fucking asshat on that channel collectively wank over their departed "dear leader." If I was rich and powerful I don't think I'd want a fucking clown like Richard Wilkins to even breath, let alone express an opinion on my death.

Those fucking asshats have an excuse; he owned them and their souls. What shits me most is the fucking pitiful cocksucking exercise from that little "big fella" Howard. Why is public money being spent on a state service for a bloke, who whilst doing good things, was essentially a rich bloke getting fucking richer. State funded funerals and services should essentially be for national heroes or legends. Weary Dunlop deserves one, and you'd expect Dawn Fraser would get one too, and rightly so despite the fact all she does is fucking whinge these days about not being loved enough.

But the effort the federal government mind you (who very rarely flip the bill for this shit) is much more than for anyone else I can remember. Checkout some of the shit that they are getting up to suck some fucking schlong:

"the Federal Government requested flags be flown at half-mast all day in NSW from "all buildings and establishments occupied by Australian Government departments and affiliated agencies". The State Government was requested to take part and agreed."

"members of the public also invited to register their attendance on a phone line set up by the Department of Prime Minister and Cabinet."

What the fuck? We're paying for a fucking phone hotline for this? Howard, good to see you're still sucking on Packer family cock, you fuckwit.

Fuckwit in the Pulsar

2006-02-16T23:29:00.000+11:00

As i was walking home today, a rather odd thing happened. About to cross a road at a T intersection (walking parallel to the main road, crossing the smaller one) I waited for a car to drive out the way, making the turn into the main road. As is my custom, I proceeded to walk accross, ignoring the next car waiting to turn as well. After all I have right of way, and they can get fucked.

As I was crossing this other car shot up to the main road to wait an oppurtunity to turn - missing me by a little but I could see the fuck coming so just avoided his car. I made my crossing, passing just to the back of the car, brushing it on the way through.

As I was about to finish my crossing the driver of this car stuck his head out the window and started to abuse me. Why did I whack his car, he asked, with some invective thrown in. Aparently my large bag, slung over my shoulder, whacked his shitty little car on the way through.

I didn't really react. A shitty Pulsar isn't worth the hassle. The most shocking thing is the fact he expected to be taken seriously driving it. Fuck you, you Pulsar asshat. Fuck you.

Paul McCartney

2006-02-06T20:58:00.000+11:00

Would you fucking die now? Or at least shut your fucking yap. Every time I hear you these days it is basically one big wank about you and your Beatles past. Most of your original fans are probably dead anyway. This morning I saw you interviewed by god's own fuckwit, Richard Wilkins. That is how I knew you'd hit rock fucking bottom.

Blogger

2006-02-05T16:10:00.000+11:00

Why is this blg never fucking featured on the main page? What are you afraid of, Blogger? That people can't handle a harsh does of reality? That they won't be able to cope with a fucking blog that doesn't go "happy, happy, yay for everything!" but one that t confronts them with how fucked up the world truly is? Or is it because I keep teaching your spellchecker "naughty" words?

Fucking weak.

Tony Grieg

2006-02-05T16:02:00.000+11:00

Shut the fuck up, you biased fuck. Your fucking dribble is becoming more and more unpalitable. Come out and call yourself a fucking South African. I doubt you have the fucking guts to renounce your Australian citizenship in favour of a South African one. Admit it, the Proteas make you all wet down there, don't they?

The old MCG crowds were fucking right, Tony is a wanker.

Personalised number plates, Revisited

2006-02-03T22:47:00.000+11:00

A new fucking low for humanity. But not an hour ago I spoted one of the worst fucking ones yet. What the fuck was it, you ask? Tripr. That's fucking right, fucking Tripper; minus a p and an r. Obviously cokhed was taken.

Where the fuck is this world going?

The spelling of February

2006-02-01T18:49:00.000+11:00

What the fuck is that r after the b doing? Fuck, seriously. Maybe it isn't a big deal, but fuck it, why is it there? Fucked if I ever pronounce it, so why isn't this month spelt the same as fucking January?

Government advertising

2006-01-30T20:26:00.000+11:00

Stop pissing my money up the fucking wall. I'm fucking sick of hearing how you're building a "World class Victoria." For starters, there's only one of us anyway, so we're fucking world class as it is. Secondly, you're fucking meant to do it anyway. That's your jobs.

You promised us most of this shit anyway. More cops, nurses, doctors and fucking teachers were all things we put in power for in the first place. Now they are done, stop wanking your cock by fucking telling us what you just did, asshats. Also, if I see one more fucking ad about the new "Southern Cross Station" I'll fucking take a shit on the steps of Parliament. Who cares if some country yokal spastic from Yapeet now has a new fucking interchange? You bollixed it up anyway, fuckwtits.

Didn't you fucking have a go at the last mob for fucking with my money like this? Stop being a pale imitation of the fuckheads you replaced.

Personalised numberplates

2006-01-28T18:53:00.000+11:00

Pure wank. Almost all of them are fucking shite. Like when someone has fucktard shit such as "suzn7"; how pathetic is that? They weren't good enough to suzan, or susan boxter or even suzn1-6. They were so fucking desperate they went to suzn7. Middle class wankers. But today, I saw one take the fucking cake.

I was driving along, minding my own fucking business, when I saw one of those mega-gay BMW four wheel drives. But what fucking struck me most was the number plate: "THE". Just "THE"; no other characters. "The" what? I thought. No fucking explanation. Just "THE". The biggest fucking knob in the universe obviously.

I wanted to ram the car. I should have rammed the fucker. However I couldn't sacrifice my car to such a fucking wanker; its the moral victory they'd want.

There has only ever been one really good private number plate - "Chooks". It fucking says it all.

Prince of Apathy

2006-01-26T14:16:00.000+11:00

So some kid got a fucking name. Good for him. However, why o why do we, the fucking people of the world outside Denmark, need to give a fuck? Royal families can get fucked; news about them can fucking get fucked even more so. Fucking Australian media all going ape shit again about some kid who doesn't give a fuck about you. Will you finally tug so fucking hard over him your cocks will actually come off when he passes a turd "in the shape of/resembling" the late Princess Di or Bradman?* Cover some real fucking news you fucking cockheads.

* I can see the fucking headlines now; "Young prince's moving tribute to his Aussie heritage"

James Hopes

2006-01-24T20:51:00.000+11:00

For fuck's sake, why?